penguinpride

Schweffy’s apparently going through some “lesbian drama” with “two other girls.” My guess is it’s Kate and Kelly (sp). Whatever it is, it’s really upsetting her. It started yesterday apparently, and it’s gotten worse today. But she won’t tell me what exactly it is, and I’m not going to make her tell me or anything. It’s her choice not to tell me. But she said “You don’t want to know” which makes me freak out. She’s cheated on me before, what’s to say she’s not going to do it again? I have to take her at her word (she lied to me about Kate before as well) that she’s not doing anything with Kate because she’s with me (this small complication didn’t stop her before).

But I have to be trusting until/unless I have reason not to. But I’ve forgiven her for lying and cheating on me once. A second time and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her. Last night, to my horror, she suggested that we just be friends. Yesterday everything important to me went crappy (my relationship with my parents, my car, college) but at the end of the day at least I still had Schweffy and our “trial relationship.” Then at night she decided to make my wonderful day even better. I was speechless, all I could say was, “We tried.” And then she wanted to let me go.

Suffice it to say I had a simply delightful night.

So today I ran to school. I need a car. Talked to Hayley some. Trying to become interested in her more and some of the stuff she’s into. Apparently she rolled her ankle in a lacrosse game yesterday. That sucks. I remember rolling my ankle all the time in Team Sports General last year, but surprisingly I’ve never done it playing tennis.

Ah, tennis. I miss that sport. I should have played for the school team this year. There’s no reason I couldn’t have. Maybe I’ll do a rec league like last year during the summer, or take more lessons with Coach Ed. I need to see how much money I have this summer to mess around with…

Speaking of money, I got a raise today. Don’t have a clue how much though. I’m hoping I make $7/hr. Then I’ll be able to get a car. Unfortunately I won’t know until the day after prom when I’ll get my check. Which sucks, I had really wanted to drive Stephanie that day. I want so badly to make her feel special that day … well there’ll be other ways to do that.

Well tonight me and Schweffy’s talk was better than lately. 22:38. Nothing like the old days, in January, when we went for hours and hours. But it’s still longer than lately. We kept the convo nice and light, and I like it that way. We ended on the agreement that next time we see each other, I’m going to stab her with my nose.

Stephanie and I made up our little disagreement this morning. We ate lunch outside CFA and had a great time. We kissed too. It brought happiness to my heart, and I told her that. She told me that I made her happy. Aww  :)

Then Megan, who was doing homework, began posting on my wall on facebook about an hour into my shift. We went on and on with our banter about nothing whatsoever. And Schweffy got mad. She thinks I’m ignoring her to talk to Megan. That’s NOT TRUE!!! I want so badly for there to be posts from Stephanie all over my wall, but I left her a post this evening and she didn’t respond. She says she’s not going to respond to anything I do on facebook anymore. Wtf. I hate when people try to make themselves feel better by taking “revenge” over the Internet. Plus she’s not even trying to make things better. As usual, it’s always up to me to make the compromise. But there’s nothing I can compromise here. I’m not going to stop talking to Megan; she’s my friend. Schweffy has nothing to worry about Megan. She’s not going to stop talking to Kate, and I have everything to worry about her.

In other news, I finally mailed by Towson admission contract (rush overnight mail) and did my housing request and meal plan. My family’s all pretty stressed out about this. My mom’s actually refused to support me because I’m going to Towson. Oh well. I’m going to have to do without her support.

I decided that the next four years of my life are more important than the next four months and took Towson over a car. My mom said it straight up today: If I go to Towson, she’s not taking out a loan for a car.

I’m really upset by this. I really need a car. Oh well, I’ll probably come up with some scheme or another to get a car.

Schweffy is getting insanely jealous of my attention on Facebook. For the past few days, my walls are covered with posts from my friend Megan. No relationship interest there. Schweffy would disagree. She thinks we’re flirting. I thought it was her paranoia, but Randy also asked me if I liked Megan. Apparently he’s noticed our bantering, and mistakes it for flirting.

Or maybe it is flirting. I don’t know. If so it’s unintentional. I’m certainly happy with my girlfriend, although I certainly wish she’d decide soon if she really wants me so we can put this “trial relationship” nonsense behind us. I don’t want to pressure her with a deadline but it’d be really nice to know!!

Me and Schweffy hung out after I got off work today. We went to the walmart supercenter in Glen Burnie. It’s the first time I’ve been there. Its not really as big as I thought it would be … they should make it so that I can’t see all the walls the second I walk in the door. But we bought Pringles, pineapple soda, and sushi. Then we went to Arundel and ate it. I love eating sushi with Schweffy!  :D     We talked about random stuff, and our relationship. I’m still disappointed she doesn’t seem to be physically attracted to me anymore. We kissed again, longer this time than on Friday. It was really nice  :)

Today was Sunday. I didn’t go to church today. Nor did I get hit with an assload of chores for not going to church. I think my mom has finally outgrown being mad at me for not going to church.

We went to my dad’s house for lunch, where he amazed us as always with his culinary expertise. He made soup. I swear, once I finish my business degree I’m going to try to go to Lincoln Tech or AACC and study hotel and restaurant management … and a prerequisite is Baking and Pastry! I’m sorry but I like the idea of knowing how to prepare sweet dishes. I get orgasmic every time I make burgers.

After lunch we talked about stuff, like how I was either going to Towson or getting a car. It’s one or the other apparently. I think that’s bullshit. But that’s the way it goes. I don’t know what I’m going to decide. I’m giving AACC some real thought again.

In any case I went jogging afterward. I’m really proud of myself, I went 20 minutes, most of the time I wasn’t even tired. But ugh that still means I’m out of shape, and I really need to run more. I hope to start running in mornings soon.

Today seemed to be uselessly busy.

At 8am, I dragged myself out to school for a review for my US Govt AP test. That was over at 10, when my mom hauled me off to Arnold to tour the AACC campus. That was really educational. It showed me even more reasons NOT to go there.

Then I worked from 3 until 9:30. Not a bad shift at all. I think I prefer the night shift, at least once in a while. Megan’s been talking to me at an increasing rate lately. Tonight I was texting Schweffy and we were getting along and so naturally I was happy. Unfortunately, I was so chipper I started singing, which is when Megan decided to make fun of my beautiful singing voice (LOL). So basically I gave her a hard time about that all night, more lawls with Megan continues throughout the evening. She’s really cool. She even invited me to her youth group on Wednesday. Idk if I can go, though. Depends on my mom. Usually I don’t like church-related activities. I felt kind of coldly-received when I went to Schweffy’s youth group a while back. But a few people from CFA go there so I’d know people straight off anyway. It sounds tempting. I’ll consider it.

Anton Geiss, German spelling Anton Geiß (August 11, 1858 in Mannheim – March 3, 1944 in Schriesheim) was a German politician in the Republic of Baden. He was a member of the SPD.

He served on Baden’s local legislature, the Landtag, from 1895 to 1903 and from 1909 to 1921. He was the chairman of the SPD in Baden from 1908 until 1921.

Geiss also served in a number of executive offices in Baden. When the Republic was first created in 1918, he became Chairman of the Provisional Government and on April 2, 1919, he became State President and Head of Government. He also served as Minister for Military Affairs until 1920.