penguinpride

 

 Matches nicely with the ghetto headset.

This past weekend, Schweffy and I talked on the phone. I felt like I was there for her. I felt like we were getting closer again. But the very next day she tells me not to talk about serious things with her. Because I’ve noticed lately she’s been ignoring a lot of my texts. And it’s not because she’s sleeping or something, it’s because she doesn’t feel like answering me.

We’ve been doing pretty bad lately. Here’s a chart (I’m bored) of how our relationship has gone (dark red=friends, red=best friends, green=relationship)

We’re basically at our worst point since early December, and sadly we’re still going down. But if my suspicions are correct, and she is losing interest in me, well then I don’t want to be best friends at all. She’s going to have to decide if I’m worth going out of my way for. Am I going to need some reassurance sometimes? Yes. I wish she didn’t hate giving it to me so much.

I’ll bet you didn’t know that I am an accomplished Author.

Yes I am.

I wrote The English Civil War: A Fairy-Tale a couple years ago. Give it a read. It’s a best-seller.

Read more of my works (and the works of others) at the Vladimir Publishing Company website at: http://www.vladimirpublishing.com/

Also, we’ve got network statistics for which of my sites are getting the most attention.

These statistics surprise me. The most obvious surprise is the fact that roseinfist.net got the #1 spot.

For those of you who don’t know, roseinfist.net was the third site to enter my network, as sort of a common content community along with a blog. The blog is actually the only thing hosted on roseinfist.net, and it hasn’t been in use for months. The community is actually hosted at vladipub.com/drupal so I have no idea how roseinfist.net managed to edge out vladipub.com. I mean, vladipub.com hosts EVERYTHING!

Also, green-forum.info, although much smaller than thereligionforum.org, managed to get more hits. Another mystery. By the way, I am releasing both sites upon their expiration. I realized I don’t have the time or nerdskill to administrate forums.

Oh by the way, check out my latest creation: aarondandrea.com. It is the eighth site to enter my network today. Basically it’s a bunch of links to all my web projects that I worked on during my period of geekiness (2000-2006), before I morphed out of that phase of my life. I didn’t think all that should go to waste.

* penguinpride.com stats are listed under tigerpride789.com

I’m bored. As such, I went through the entire FAIL Blog and picked out the best(worst?) failures of them all. And put them in order!

 

19. If you’re a nice person, you’ll be a good Samaritan and help nice people who need rides.

 

18. Ever since he was 5, Johnny’s parents knew he was destined to be a punter in the NFL.

 

17. Procreation fail.

 

 

16. The perfect spot!

 

15. Ridin’ dirty.

 

 14. For a REAL thief, no amount of security is enough.

13. Blondes!!

 

12. Buildings on fire are not the only problem our firefighters have to deal with. Apparently.

 

11. CUP FAIL!

 

 10. NOTHING CAN MAKE OUR BRAVE SOLDIERS CRINGE IN FEAR!

9. Math fail.

  

8. Enthusiasm fail.

 

7. Buildings on fire are not the only problem our firefighters have to deal with. Apparently.

 

 6. Acme Fire Extinguishers, Inc.  Making safety accessible since 1952.

 

5. Piss on your hat!

 

4. Some police corps need just a little bit more training.

 

3. What the hell?!

 

 2. Caring mothers for the fail!

 

 

1. The epitome of ghetto.

 

We’ve had the best of times, we’ve had the worst of times.

No seriously, my happiest moments were spent with her (Dec-Jan 2007-08), as were my least (assorted occasions since April 2008). She makes me so happy, yet so upset too.

She’s my best friend. And I love her. There’s no question as to whether it’s worth us being friends; whether it’s worth the bad times. It certainly is. Because when the good times do roll, they are SO good.

My best friend is Schweffy! Haha!

I am in the mood for some lolcats!

So I was talking to my friend Andrew the other day and he started singing “U Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer. I was like, “Superfreak’s better, fool.” And he flipped out on me. Turns out he didn’t even know Rick James did that song. I’m wondering if he’s ever heard it. So it’s time to do your patriotic duty and vote for which song’s better. You can either click the “Vote!” button in the top right of this page or click here.

Oh by the way I joined KAOS today (Check out my sweet card). Yes indeed I am looking forward to Get Smart coming out on the 20′th, seeing as how the TV show is my #1 favorite show of all time, it is directed by the same guy (Peter Segal) who directed my #1 favorite movie of all time (Anger Management) and has Steve Carrell, my #1 favorite actor of all time.

CLICK HERE to join me on the GET SMART Team!

So I turned 18 today. Woo happy birthday to me!

To demonstrate how cool I am, I created this chart which shows normal, boring parties vs. my party.

All it really means to me is that I can do everything I’ve been doing for the past 5 years legally. Woo Hoo.  A few days ago I was turned out of a cigar shop. Now I can return and spit upon the man. I will spit on him, using my spit. It’ll be some good spit too. I’ll drink lots of lemonade so that gross lemony-stringy stuff stays in my throat and I’ll spit that at him.

In other news, I no longer live with my mother. I took advantage of the fact that the portion of the custody agreement pertaining to me is null and void to promptly move into my dad’s house. Also this week: I shall apply for a loan. Hopefully I can get a car very soonly!

I had three things I’ve wanted so badly for a long time:

1. Internet access: unlimited, unrestricted.
2. A laptop, with Internet access and a webcam.
3. A car.

Well today I moved into my dad’s house, where there is, in fact, Internet access, both unlimited AND unrestricted. WOW. Don’t even tell me that you’ve had this since you were like six years old. Just shut up and stop raining on my parade. kthxbai

As for number 2, my laptop, that was a graduation present from my dad.  :)     Which I got today. And now I might finally be able to get my car!!   :D

O also one last thing. I made my first lol today… it’s pretty awesome I know, I know:

 

 

Recognize the picture??

I usually don’t make 3 posts in one day, but it’s my birthday so suck it.

Basically I was cruising i can has cheezburger when I happened upon this LOL:

Then I noticed a link: LOOKING FOR MORE FAIL? As a matter of fact I was, so I clicky clicky’d and discovered the FAIL Blog. The first thing I saw when I arrived was this:

It’s super effective! JK, actually he fails, not only to put out the inferno, but if you notice, he actually misses the fire. As “chimp” on FAIL blog wisely notes, “he could only be less efficient if he used oil instead of water.”

So basically that’s my discovery of the day. So check out the FAIL blog because I guarantee you’ll find bigger failures than yourself.