penguinpride

For pathetic individuals like me, inspiration is hard to come by. Maybe it’s because I’m useless, worthless, and did I mention pathetic?

Awww.

JK LMAO! I’m fine (today), but really good inspiration is that location known as few and far between.

But recently, I have found a couple sources of inspiration, out of nowhere. Firstly, I finally wrapped my brain around Star Trek.

Not only that, but there’s loads more on the best site from the Cheezburger guys since Failblog. They call this fresh pile of freshness “Comixed.” Yo. Check it.

But wait there’s more. Bob Parsons, an American hero, seems to also be a business guru. And now he has 16 Rules for Success. I’m thinking they’re 16 of the 20 Cliches of Success. Wrong. I’m not going to copy&paste everything (you’re welcome) but here’s a sampling.

2.	Never give up.

	Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted.  Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working, doesn’t mean it won’t work.  It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it.  If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity. -Bob’s 16 Rules for Success

So who IS this guy? Only the founder and CEO of GoDaddy, my domain registrar and hosting service.
YOU: O so he’s the one who keeps airing those crappy Super Bowl ads with Danica Patrick and women with b00bz?
ME: Yep.
YOU: LOL THEY SUCK.
ME: You know it. I know it. He knows it. But it made you remember their name. So he wins.
YOU: :[

Just one more. Possibly the best one (because it pertains to my infinite failures):

3.	When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think.
	There’s an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true.  It goes like this: “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.” -Bob’s 16 Rules for Success

Plus he went to UB!!!!!!!! (I wanna go there in like 2 yrs)

Another thing I discovered was from an old hero, Dave Matthews. I found this song on someone else’s iTunes. Yes, Apple products are always better. Always.

This particular ditty is called “Seek Up.” You can listen to it here. Get a load of these lyrics.

Late at night with TV’s hungry child
his belly swells
Well, for the price of a coke or a smoke
I could keep alive those hungry eyes

Oh look at me in my fancy car
and my bank account
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down
into my grave, God knows I’d save and save
Man, take a look again, take a look again
things you have collected, well in the end piles up
to one big nothing, one big nothing at all

:o

Finally, I discovered the joke they don’t tell gay people.

LOL.
The only thing funny about “Cop Out” was Tracy Porter.
The end.

So today was my first day of class at an exciting new school.

HA what a joke. I could tell by the first class that Anne Arundel Community College is just one big joke disguised as a college. And it’s not even a very good disguise either.

Following this, I had my first good day at work today without drugs. Where I had an epiphany. For months, I have been searching for a song that describes the relationship between me and Stephanie. Of course, over the months, this song has changed many times. But I think I have found the perfect one. This one might actually stick. Oddly enough, it’s a song I’ve been listening for years, back from my late middle school/early high school days when my dad got me into the oldies band Chicago. One of their songs goes like this:

At the time, you couldn’t tell me
If one day I’d be glad
That something that I thought was love
Was misinterpreted
She had another lover
She emphatic’lly denied
But they were doing me a favor
A blessing in disguise

(Chorus:)
If she would have been faithful
If she could have been true
Then I would have been cheated
I would never know real love
I would have missed out on you

Finally, I am in fact aware that Steve McNair is dead. I was aware since the day he died. What YOU may not be aware of is that he was the subject of the oldest post on PenguinPride.com.

So the Dave Matthews Band has a new album out.

Let’s just say it’s amazing. Not only does it keep with that jazzy-fusion sound DMB is famous for, it’s possibly the best album to have on while doing drugs since Jupiter One. (Not that I’d know.) Here you can listen to this awesome album.

In other news, I’m tired of people pointing out “MILF’s” to me, whether it be during beach week, or at work. To me, there is no such thing as a Mother I’d Like to Fuck because there is nobody’s mother that I want to do.

Okay I take that back. But actual MILF’s are extremely few and far between. I have yet to see one in person, although I must admit to spotting two or three on the Internets.

Also, my family “reunion” was exciting for about two hours, then became predictably boring. I fell asleep. At least I had a good birthday. Thanks you Kait.

Had a great day today. Although it didn’t really start till 7:30pm. For the first time I may have felt like I have friends. Andrew, Bryan, and Rob are some of the most awesome guys I know. Steve’s still cool after a couple years of not seeing me (although the lack thereof has apparently caused him to put on about 10 pounds). And his brother Mike is apparently friends with Bryan’s brother Jason. And they’re both apparently friends with big Kenny. Big Kenny, the guy I used to be jealous of because he hung out with Leah and Kirsten and all the volleyball girls and I couldn’t.

Well now I’m apparently friends with Kenny. Didn’t see that coming. But I won’t complain.

So I was deleting old crap off my computer and came across some old football predictions from 3 years ago. Thought I’d post them. Basically they’re all here. Apparently I was a great blogger then, but slacked off last year. Some rather important/pivitol days last spring have no mention at all.

April 11 – Schweffy cheats on me

April 14 – Schweffy tells me she cheated on me, we break up (why the HELL is that not on there at all?!)

April 21 – Schweffy and I get back together. Mistake.

May 11 – We break up for good. I talk about the weather.

In any case I’m WELL over her. She doesn’t even talk to me anymore. All my texts go unanswered…sounds like last summer. Except this time I don’t have to put up with the bullshit because I’ve got Kait.

And apparantly Maggie thinks I should be thanking her for setting us up!! HAHAHA

In other news, my roommate pwned his hand on my closet door.

But wait. There’s more. Check out my dad’s new website at http://www.johndandrea.com/. Do it now. And try not to get creeped out.

I don’t even know if you read this anymore.

But if you do happy birthday!!

So it’s been like a really long time since I posted. There’s been so much going on I don’t even know where to start. Let’s see…..I decided to go to school in Dallas. Actually, I left Maryland this morning with my family. School starts on Wednesday and I have very mixed feelings about this. Excited, nervous, and sad all at the same time. It was harder than I thought it would be to leave Maryland. I always have a hard time saying goodbye to people as is usual. Two friends specifically will be very missed…..

I am in Tennessee right now at a Best Western in what I think is Cookesville, Tennessee. Unfortunately, we got a very late start this morning so we got here very late….We were all ready to leave about 9:00 which was only about an hour off target time when my dad got called into work to do something which took about 2-1/2 hours so that was frustrating, but we did make it, and I guess it’s not too late. One thing I learned from all this traveling is that Virginia is way too big. We traveled for like 9 hours and only made it into Tennessee. A little bit disappointing, but there is nothing i can do about that.

Sorry if the pictures are not that great….They were taken with a cell phone. Tomorrow I think we will stay in Arkadelphia and then we will make it to Dallas on Tuesday…. So all in all I would say that this new chapter of my life has gotten off to a fairly good start.

I’ve been talking to this girl Kait I met on Facebook for a couple weeks,so naturally we decided it was time to meet in person. And since she doesn’t/can’t drive, it was clear who was going to be making the 3.5 hour drive! :D

So I make the massive drive, starting out at about 10:30 or so. Somehow, I don’t make it there until just before 3am. The directions tell me to turn on Casey Avenue, then take a left on East Northampton Street. I got to Casey Ave, and… there is no E Northampton St! So I frantically text Kait, asking for help.

No response.

So I decide to look up Northampton St using the internet on my phone. It seems simple enough: just find Main Street, then turn on Northampton St. Now, where is Main St?

I look for an hour. No Main Street.

I text Kait again. No response. This worries me… what if she fell asleep??

I find a street called Wilkes-Barre Blvd. I turn on this, figuring if I take any street north, I will find Main Street. This plan fails with the first two streets I tried becoming dead ends, but the third street did indeed take me to Main Street.

What kind of city has MAIN STREET so hard to find??!?!?!

Also, you would have to see it to believe it, but Wilkes-Barre is an amazingly sloppy city. Imagine a fun game of Pick-up Sticks. You drop all the sticks and they form a tangled pile on the floor. Well now imagine those sticks are roads and you basically have Wilkes-Barre.

I think I might have seen a total of one 90-degree angle intersection there. Also, they have a funny traffic pattern where one of the lanes MUST always turn left or right, and I kept ending up in that lane, despite the fact that I wanted to go straight.

So in any case, I’m driving on Main Street, and after defeating the town square by driving in the left lane, I located Northampton Street and turned left. Now I was on track!! So I looked at my directions: the next turn was Hillside Street. So I drove slowly up the street, looking for Hillside. Passing some more insane intersections, one of which being Wilkes-Barre Blvd, which means I could have avoided the entire Main Street debacle, I could not locate Hillside St! A few miles up the road, the houses suddenly stopped and were replaced by forest. I thought maybe Hillside St was a little further up, so I kept going. The road suddenly got very steep and going in a broad circle, and I realized I was driving over a mountain. Not gonna lie, I’m scared of driving over mountains. And I couldn’t turn around! The road was too narrow, and if this mountain was anything like Mt. McConnellsburg, one slip and you’d plunge down to your death. Plus it was dark (4:30am) and foggy so it was basically not fun. Somehow I made it to the top and turned around there, and made my way back down. Still no sign of Hillside St. I ended up going back to the very tiny and VERY difficult to use map on my phone and was looking for alternate routes when I accidentally found Hillside St. It was at a 45-degree angle bisecting the intersection already formed by Northampton and Empire Streets. And it was angled AWAY from the direction I was going, so I had to pass it, turn around, then turn on it.

After that, the last 2 streets were relatively simple. So I found Kait’s house… all dark. And there was nowhere to park. So I drove BACK down to Wilkes-Barre Blvd and parked in the McDonald’s parking lot. There, I fell asleep. It was 5am.

At about 9am I woke up — with about 10 text messages. All were from Kait. Apparently she had woken up at 5:10 or so and realized she had left me all alone. She ran outside looking for a beige car with Maryland plates… she couldn’t find one. Apparently then she thought I might me dead, and sent such text messages as “AARON PLEASE” to me in a panic. When I woke up I texted her back…then fell back asleep.

At 10am I woke up again and drove up to Kait’s. I got out of my car and she looked exactly how I thought she would. She was sitting outside waiting for me. So we talked awhile, explored the empty house next door to hers which a guy was in the process of remodeling until he dropped dead, and found out that I’m not really a guy. Then we went to Red Robin, where I’ve been DYING to go and try their 5-alarm burger. I did–and it was GREAT. I told Kait she should try it but she had to be a woman and get salad. (The next day she got sick due to her incorrect choice.)

Sadly I had to leave after that. I wish I could’ve stayed longer but I had to get home. It’s a good thing I left before I got even more tired. Because as soon as I got back I collapsed into bed and fell asleep in minutes. :)

i think ramen is one of my comfort foods. i’m eating it right now…to try to calm down.
i feel like i’m starting to get cold feet for college…with 13 days left.

every day that gets closer, it feels more and more of a reality…and i wonder, can i handle this shit?
i realize that people have to grow up…and i’m probably being a baby because my college is only 45 minutes away from my house. but i dont see it like that. i’ve lived in this house for 18 years. my biggest move was from bowie [5 minutes away] to crofton when i was 1, and too young to even remember our old town house. i’ve gone to the same schools, and have known the same people all of my life.
but now everyone’s leaving…well some people are staying…but that’s not the point.
people are going to move on…get better lives, get new friends. they say that your college friends are usually your friends for life, and you get closer to them more than your high school friends. i like my friends just fine now though. **shrug**

i was talking to byron on the phone one night [he called and my dad told me to answer the phone], and the things he said made me kind of upset. he was like “after you leave for college, your house isn’t going to be your home anymore…you’ll be a visitor from now on.” saying that is probably one of the biggest things you can say to me that sets in the reality of that. it set in even more when my parents told me that when i left, they might paint and rearrange my room. that made me dumbfounded. its my room, and they’re just going to take my stuff and move it around to their liking.

i started going dorm shopping with my mom the other day. it’s kind of an overwhelming and daunting experience…i didnt even know where to start. i feel like the majority of the stuff that these stores are selling are useless. and crap. we walked around both target and walmart…walmarts selection was disappointing…even though it IS walmart, and we didn’t have very high expectations to begin with. we ended up buying some towels and detergent. that’s how far i’ve gotten with my dorm shopping. freaking towels and laundry detergent. no i lie…we also bought a box of tampons. lol.

we decided to get sheets and a comforter and stuff from the catalog that towson sent us…they had a much wider variety of twin xl sheets than the places that we went to, and i actually liked some of the stuff, so that’s out of the way as well.

i dont even know what else i have to buy…a lamp, for sure. things i need for the bathroom, make sure i have shampoo and soap and toothpaste stuff like that. i feel like i’m being a minimalist…either that, or i’m just not thinking enough. oh well…i’ll probaly remember when i get on campus…which is good. lol. because the first night that we move in, a bus will come and take students that want to go, out to target to finish shopping and to get things they might’ve forgotten. i think thats cool, only towson students roaming target after closing time.

the countdown continues. anticipation and fear have played their parts…and i’m sure they will both continue to play their parts. i have a lot to do in the time that i have left. i started cleaning a month or so ago…haven’t gotten far at all. i’ll probably end up going through my closets and just throwing massive amounts of shit away. because truthfully, i have so much shit i don’t use. my family is filled with packrats. my parents are weird and go through all the trash that i throw away, and keep the stuff that they “could, maybe use”, or “could, maybe donate to goodwill”…in the meanwhile, we have piles upon piles of clothes, toys, etc etc in our basement, with years of neglectment. i’ll take things into my own hands now. i WILL have my room cleaned before i go away.

That’s my horoscope for today. It sounds rather cryptic and mysterious. But I guess it could be true… I mean, I couldn’t possibly know about it if nobody’s talking to me!

For the record, I’m happy that Schweffy has decided to continue blogging here. I’m thinking we’re going to be like phone acquaintances, for a while anyway. Maybe one day we’ll become friends again, but I don’t think that time is now… perhaps it’s best if we just take a break from each other, seeing as how we fight all the time. But as phone-acquaintances, we won’t have the opportunity to fight! I definitely hope that someday we’ll be friends again, though. Maybe if we ease back into each other, things will work out.

O. I just came back from the beach. I went with Andrew Lewis and Damien Sautter, the former of whom is a leprechaun, and the latter an extraordinarily attractive man (no homo). So yeah, there was a lot of beach walking (but not much swimming), some volleyball, sharkhunting, a rather interesting game known as “Samurai 1″ which is basically hide-and-seek in a city (gotta love parking garages and hotel staircases!!) where the hider is actually waiting in ambush for the seekers… well it’s complicated kind of. But VERY fun (I reckoned it would come down to this, Hank). Also we picked up two girls, unfortunately they were whores. Plus one was 14. Ah well it was fun without them :)

So on Twitter yesterday, I compiled my list of Movies I Simply Must See:

1. Pineapple Express saw it 8/13
2. The Dark Knight (that’s right, I still haven’t seen it)
3. The Mummy
4. Step Brothers
5. Mirrors (comes out 8/17)
6. Lakeview Terrace (comes out 9/17)

After seeing Pineapple Express, I concluded that it was an awesome movie. For my full review on the movie click here.

So yeah that’s whats been up with me lately.