penguinpride

I was wondering what was located at murder.org.

Customers at Chick-fil-A can be quite airheaded from time to time. Here are some of those times.

• “Can I get 3 chicken selects?”
• “Can I get half caffeine half regular coffee?”
• Would you like any sauce?   “No, I’m eating in the car.”
• “Can I get the kids meal in a bag?”
• “How much is your bacon egg and cheese biscuit?”  $2.92.   “OK I’ll take just the biscuit. Does it come with egg on it? How about cheese? Can I get cheese on it?”
• “Do you sell biscuits as a side?”
• “Do you serve hamburgers?”  No, sir. Only chicken.   “How about fish?”  No, sir. Only chicken.
• “Large kids meal please.”
• “Chicken meal please.”
• “Can I have the spicy deluxe club, no ham.”
• “Can I have the CFA #1 plain… just the bread and the sandwich.”

*facepalm*

Don’t even remember where I found this.

Customers don’t stop with just 2 pages full of wtf’s. They keep coming. And David and Sonny have been compiling these lists for quite some time…

• “Can I get 18 of those finger things?”
• “Which one of the number 1 and number 2 is crispy?”    “The number 1 is fried, and the number 2 is grilled.”   “So which one is crispy?”
• Q:  “Can I get you any sauce or condiments?”    A:  “She don’t use condiments!”
• “Can I have one of those meals?”
• “Can I have an order of round potato things?”
• “FIVE DOLLARS FOR A NEWSPAPER??!?!”     “No, ma’am, that says 50 cents but here, it’s free.”
• Q:  “Any sauce?”   A:  “No, just Chick-fil-A sauce.”
• “Can I get 12 pieces of chicken?”
• “Can I get real food now?”
• “Can I get the largest number 5 I can get?”
• “Is that carrot and raisin salad for humans?”
• “I’ll take the smallest chicken meal you got”
• “Can I have 2 chicken biscuits without the pickles?”
• “Medium cup of whatever you call it, coffee?”
• “Sausage biscuit with sausage”
• “Medium splenda lemonade”
• “Can I have one number 1 with cheese on both?”
• “Do you have white coffee?”        [?!]
• “Can I have a biscuit butter?”
• “What’s the difference between an 8 pack and a 12 pack?”
• “Can I get some tots please?”
• “What’s the chance of me getting a bacon egg and cheese with no egg?”
• “Do you have cold coffee?”
• “I’ll take your $3.95 nuggets and a small lemonade”
• “Can I get a 12 piece 12 nugget meal?”
• “Can I have a number …… sorry I am so confused”

And of course there is MORE! To be had next week.

Still more WTF’s from David, Sonny and crew at CFA.

• “Can I get the happy meal?”
• “Whopper with cheese, no pickles. OH SHIT! Wrong place”
• “Can I get the number 3, not the meal, just the 3 chicken thingy’s?”
• “Fruit instead of taters”
• Q:  “Would you like a drink holder or a tray?”   A:  “Yes, that would be great.”
• Q:  “Would you like any sauce?”   A: “No, I’ll just spill it on myself.”
• “Can I have an order of hard grilled chicken?”

Are these hard enough for you?

• “May I have two number 3 fours?”
• “May I have a large ice cream dream cone please?”
• “Could I have some lemon juice please?”
• “I want the most nugget box you got.”
• “Caesar wrap sandwich”
• “Small order of cottage fries”
• “I’ll take a regular chicken.”

?

• “Can I get a portable tray?”
• “Can I have 3 cups of honey?
• “Can I get the three count mini, the breakfast ones?”
• “Can I get just the breast?”
• “I’ll take a Chick-fil-A”
• “Oh wow, it’s all chicken”
• “Are all your fries waffle?”
• “Can I order breakfast now?”   “Yes, ma’am, until 10:30.”   “Well can I order breakfast then?”
• “Do you have any breakfast left?”    “No, we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.”    “Well do you have any left?”
• A customer came to the counter and asked,  “Do you still work here?”
• “Can I have your basic sandwich?”
• “2 spice sandwiches.”
• “Are you doing the promotion with the free side?”
• “Number 7 combo just the sandwich”
• “Can I get light on ice?”
• “How much is your chicken meal?”
• “Can I get the big one?”
• “Large not sweetened tea”
• “What is in the fruit, just fruit?”
• “Is there fruit on the Chargrilled and Fruit Salad?”
• “Can I get half of a sandwich?”
• “So you get two pieces of bread on a sandwich?”
• “Can I have a box of those chicken rollie things?”
• “Large sweet tea with a teaspoon of lemon on top”
• “Can I get the number 4 but make it spicy and add deluxe?”

There is still moar!!

Some of the things customers try to say to us at work are absolutely ridiculous.

• Crowtans
• Shopem bags
• Q: “What drink would you like?”   A:  “Diet.”
• Q: “Would you like any sauces?”   A:  “No. Can I have some BBQ sauce?”
• “I just don’t understand why I don’t get two sandwiches with a meal”
• “What do you sweeten your unsweetened tea with?”
• “Does the chicken garden salad come with chicken?”
• “Do you serve fish?”
• “Is the number one grilled?”
• “Can I get a number 8 pack meal?”
• Q:  “How many McNuggets come in a meal?”    A:  “I’m not sure, ma’am, I don’t work at McDonald’s.”
• “Can I get a number this one 4 pack?”
• “Can I get a large sweet tea without sugar?”
• “Can I have a hot and spicy sandwich please?”
• “What’s on that there chick fill uh sammich?”
• “Could I get the combo with a drink?”
• “Small order of onion rings please.”
• “Can I have a straw with my coffee so my lips don’t get hot?”
• “2 Chick-fil-A’s.”
• “Can I get my chicken on a honey wheat roll?”
• “Chicken egg and cheese on sunflower mango bread”
• “Could I get some yellow sugar please?”
• “Can I get the number 4…….better make it the meal.”
• “Chicken burrito sandwich only”
• “Can I get an 8 piece nugget?  NO WAIT!! Can I get an 8 pack nugget?”
• Berry Ballsmatic dressing
• “Can I have a free one of them?”
• “Better throw in some taters with that”
• “Can I get ummmmmm… ummmmmmmmmmmmm… ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… never mind”
• 8:30 am.     “Are you all on lunch?”

Thanks to David and Sonny for these. More to come!

By “The Lonely Island”

One day, a kid from Oklahoma named Kenny Glenn decided to take out his anger at being unloved upon his kitten, Dusty. He then proceeded to videotape his love for animals and post it to Youtube. Here is Dusty in one of his cinematic highlights:

The videos came to 4chan’s attention, no doubt with the help of this old guy. Just before he takes a little nap and talks to us later, he outlines the story of the idiot who decided that the place for kitties is up against his wall.

O that’s him By The Way. And WTF @ his status!!?

In any case the Law kicked his ass.

The end.

Yes, I have found hope for the Detroit Lions! But first, a look at the development of philosophy throughout the ages:

Ah yes. So I was thinking about how the Detroit Lions could be a good team. And then I lol’d because they fail worse than this:

But, then a thought came to me. They have a couple good receivers, and they have Rudi Johnson as a running back. They’ve had some OK quarterbacks, too, so what’s missing? O YA the coach sucks. Replace him with:

So Bill Cowher makes Daunte Culpepper a good QB again, but he’s old. So Cowher makes him backup after a few games with recently acquired… MATT CASSEL. Did you really think Cassel was just going to watch Tom Brady play next season after how good he did this season? No. Although the Patriots have put a price on him. Then, Charlie Batch gets better so he and Byron Leftwich are both backup QB’s for Big Ben in Pittsburgh. They don’t need Dennis Dixon anymore, so they drop him, to be quickly picked up by the Lions.

Matt Cassel #16, QB

Daunte Culpepper #11, Backup QB, retires after Lions win Super Bowl

Dennis Dixon #2, Third QB (shown in University of Oregon jersey)

So yeah, people reading the Wikipedia on the Lions will see this in a few years:

Super Bowl XLIII: Pittsburgh Steelers (6) over New York Giants

2009 Season
The Lions did so poorly that Aaron Dandrea was able to purchase the team from William Clay Ford. He removed Rod Marinelli as head coach and replaced him with Bill Cowher. The Lions traded Drew Stanton and Drew Henson to the New England Patriots for Matt Cassel (#16), who had refused to play backup QB after starting for all but one game in the 2008 season following the injury to Tom Brady. They also acquired Dennis Dixon (#2) from the Pittsburgh Steelers, who already had three QBs after Charlie Batch returned to the active roster.
Daunte Culpepper (#11) played the first three games of the season, losing the first game to the Green Bay Packers, the second against the Jacksonville Jaguars, and the third to the Chicago Bears.
However, the skill of veteran WR Calvin Johnson (#81) and rookie WR from Oklahoma Manuel Johnson (#84) was noticed, as well as RB Rudi Johnson (#32). After dropping the first three games, Cowher replaced Culpepper with Cassel as starter.
Cassel fared much better, losing only an away game to the Minnesota Vikings and a home game against the Pittsburgh Steelers on Thanksgiving Day. The Lions finished the season 11-5, giving them the division title. However, the Dallas Cowboys had fallen just short of a division victory but had clinched a wild card spot. The Cowboys beat the Lions in the first round of the playoffs, but it was an improvement over the 0-16 season.

Super Bowl XLIV: Indianapolis Colts (3) over Carolina Panthers

2010 Season
Detroit drafted TE Jake Ballard (#87) to replace outgoing TE John Owens, as well as RB “Fast” Chris Wells (#38) to complement Johnson. With these additions to the team, the Lions charged into the 2010 season, losing only to the New England Patriots and twice to the Minnesota Vikings. This was Cassel’s first year as starting QB, with Culpepper as his backup. The Lions finished the season 13-3, easily division champions.
In the divisional playoff game against the Carolina Panthers, Cassel suffered a concussion late in the 3rd quarter and had to be carted off the field. The game was tied at 21-21 and Culpepper ran Rudi Johnson to the 28 yard line. They were forced to make a field goal, but the Panthers could not answer back. In the last minute of the game, Jake Delhomme of the Panthers threw a Hail Mary pass that was intercepted by LaMarcus Hicks (#35) and returned for a touchdown. The Lions won, 31-21. The next week’s game against the New York Giants was even harder; the game was tied 17-17 at the end of regulation and was only won in overtime when the Lions kicked a 55-yard field goal. But the Lions had made it to their first Super Bowl ever, where they defeated the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLV in an upset 45-10. Cassel was pulled with five minutes left in the game and Culpepper was able to finish the game and throw the final touchdown pass.

Super Bowl XLV: Detroit Lions (1) over Indianapolis Colts

2011 Season
The Lions spent the draft shoring up their defense, which ended up ranking them the #2 defense in the NFL (behind the Steelers). Culpepper had retired following Super Bowl XLV, bumping Dixon up to backup QB and Dan Orlovsky (#6) to third string QB.
Matt Cassel threw for over 4,000 yards this season, second-year RB Wells ran for 1,700 and Johnson for 1,300. The Lions lost only one game, to the Kansas City Chiefs, ending their season at 15-1 and the first seed in the NFL.
Unfortunately, in their final game against the Chicago Bears, Cassel broke his hand and was out for the postseason. Dixon was able to finish the game with a win and even ran for a touchdown, something that was soon to become his trademark. In the divisional round of the playoffs, Dixon was able to lead the Lions to defeat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. However, they lost the NFC Championship game to the New York Giants.

Super Bowl XLVI: San Diego Chargers (1) over New York Giants

2012 Season
This year, the Lions drafted the best offensive line in the league, and their defense was still #2. Cassel threw for 3,750 yards, Wells ran for 1,500 and Johnson for an additional 1,250. The Lions and their high-powered offense easily crushed every team, winning every game by at least 10 points. This was the second time in NFL history that a team had gone undefeated, and the first that a team had won sixteen games in a season, as the 1972 Miami Dolphins only won fourteen.
The Lions went on in the postseason, beating the Atlanta Falcons 35-3 and the Arizona Cardinals 20-7. In Super Bowl XLVII, the Lions beat the Chargers 38-17.

Super Bowl XLVII: Detroit Lions (2) over San Diego Chargers