It has been discontinued, as of yesterday.

I was at first angry at what I thought was a free speech issue, because I had only read the latest Bed Post. This particular edition was widely praised; here is a sample comment:

*This* column actually made national news? Seriously, I got here from CNN. What kind of morons run this school? OMG- the kids have figured out a way to have sex that has practical zero risk for STD’s or pregnancy and they’re spreading the word!!! Stop it before the STD and pregnancy rates drop!!!

Kudos to the author and editor, and “you are a total and complete moron” to anyone who purports to have a mission (in fact, paid position) at this school in perpetuating knowledge but would move immediately to squash some of the most important knowledge that can be imparted and punish those who would disseminate it.

It is unfortunate that the author no longer has a column in the Towerlight, and the editor has resigned, after receiving a “threatening” e-mail from the President of the university.

Now what got the good President Caret so riled up? This column, appearing in the September 14 edition of The Towerlight.

Overview of the post: What are the most pleasurable jobs in the recession?

1. Handjob
2. Blowjob
3. Rimjob   (!)

After reading this one, I decided that while it would be good to have a sex column, it could have been on a better topic, such as the first article. The “jobs in the recession” article should have been posted exclusively online.

But now the President bitched.

And the editor resigned.

And no more Bed Post.

And is apparently being given national attention? Idk about CNN, but I do see it in the Baltimore Sun.

We have believed for quite some time that Mike would reply “LMAO” to anything. We never really decided to bring this up to Mike. Especially in this context:

Besides the fact that my grandmother is alive and well, it seems Mike has over-reacted slightly. Alan seems overwhelmed and will likely hide in a cave and eat a banana.

Despite how much I diss myself in regards to tennis, I’m not so bad. But when playing tennis on the Wii, I absolutely suck. So I figured, since I really do suck at soccer, I might be good at the video game.

I was wrong.

As you can see here, I have the  worst record of everyone here. I have the same amount of losses as Alan, but he has three times the number of wins.

And then there’s my dismal record against the computer. I always play as a 5-star team. Here is my record so far against the computer on various levels:

• 1/2 star, 1-1
• 1 star, 1-0
• 1 1/2 stars, 1-1
• 2 stars, 1-1
• 2 1/2 stars, 1-1
• 3 stars, 1-0
• 3 1/2 stars, 1-3

AHHHHHH!! I CAN’T EVEN BEAT A 3.5 STAR TEAM?! How will I ever beat Mike (who tackes everyone but manages to never get penalized) or Alan (who gets lucky every time)? It’s going to be next to impossible. I think I’m going to retire… but I’ll give myself a chance first. If I lose to a 3.5 star computer team and then Andrew and then Alan and then Mike, I will retire because my life will be forfeit.

About as forfeit as your life if you are caught with a motor vehicle in Antarctica.

So basically I’m hopeless at the game.   :(

i’ve been cleaning my room the past few days. and by “cleaning”, i mean purging most of the remnants of random things in my closets. they are almost bare right now, and it makes me kind of sad that i don’t really have things to put in them [without making them a total mess].

i have 3 boxes full of clothes so far…i think i’ll probably have 4 total when i’m done. i still have some laundry to do before i leave. and i have to pack my jeans.

i feel like people have so much more stuff than me for their dorm. i guess we’ll find out how much i’ve forgotten on Thursday.

i feel like so many people have texted me and IMed me, saying how i should hang out with them before i leave…but quite frankly, there’s literally no time. like right now, i could be hanging out with people. earlier i could have as well. but everyone waits till the last day to ask. my plans for tomorrow are as follows:
-wake up [i guess by 9:30 i should be good]
-do some laundry
-pack like no other
-maybe go to alex’s house and chill
-pick up alexis and krista from school and hang [also get a peak at the new science wing, and see my teachers for the last time until i leave]
-last supper with the family at fuji

Then Thursday, i guess we’ll do any LAST MINUTE packing [which i assume is like deodorant and toothbrush and stuff. we MIGHT go out to breakfast. i have to pick up my last check at safeway. then we're off to Towson...to get there AFTER 11 sometime. my roomate's getting there at 11, and i don't want to get there first [mainly i dont want to decide what side to sleep on lol]

So I make the massive drive, starting out at about 10:30 or so. Somehow, I don’t make it there until just before 3am. The directions tell me to turn on Casey Avenue, then take a left on East Northampton Street. I got to Casey Ave, and… there is no E Northampton St! So I frantically text Kait, asking for help.

No response.

So I decide to look up Northampton St using the internet on my phone. It seems simple enough: just find Main Street, then turn on Northampton St. Now, where is Main St?

I look for an hour. No Main Street.

I text Kait again. No response. This worries me… what if she fell asleep??

I find a street called Wilkes-Barre Blvd. I turn on this, figuring if I take any street north, I will find Main Street. This plan fails with the first two streets I tried becoming dead ends, but the third street did indeed take me to Main Street.

What kind of city has MAIN STREET so hard to find??!?!?!

Also, you would have to see it to believe it, but Wilkes-Barre is an amazingly sloppy city. Imagine a fun game of Pick-up Sticks. You drop all the sticks and they form a tangled pile on the floor. Well now imagine those sticks are roads and you basically have Wilkes-Barre.

I think I might have seen a total of one 90-degree angle intersection there. Also, they have a funny traffic pattern where one of the lanes MUST always turn left or right, and I kept ending up in that lane, despite the fact that I wanted to go straight.

So in any case, I’m driving on Main Street, and after defeating the town square by driving in the left lane, I located Northampton Street and turned left. Now I was on track!! So I looked at my directions: the next turn was Hillside Street. So I drove slowly up the street, looking for Hillside. Passing some more insane intersections, one of which being Wilkes-Barre Blvd, which means I could have avoided the entire Main Street debacle, I could not locate Hillside St! A few miles up the road, the houses suddenly stopped and were replaced by forest. I thought maybe Hillside St was a little further up, so I kept going. The road suddenly got very steep and going in a broad circle, and I realized I was driving over a mountain. Not gonna lie, I’m scared of driving over mountains. And I couldn’t turn around! The road was too narrow, and if this mountain was anything like Mt. McConnellsburg, one slip and you’d plunge down to your death. Plus it was dark (4:30am) and foggy so it was basically not fun. Somehow I made it to the top and turned around there, and made my way back down. Still no sign of Hillside St. I ended up going back to the very tiny and VERY difficult to use map on my phone and was looking for alternate routes when I accidentally found Hillside St. It was at a 45-degree angle bisecting the intersection already formed by Northampton and Empire Streets. And it was angled AWAY from the direction I was going, so I had to pass it, turn around, then turn on it.

After that, the last 2 streets were relatively simple. So I found Kait’s house… all dark. And there was nowhere to park. So I drove BACK down to Wilkes-Barre Blvd and parked in the McDonald’s parking lot. There, I fell asleep. It was 5am.

At about 9am I woke up — with about 10 text messages. All were from Kait. Apparently she had woken up at 5:10 or so and realized she had left me all alone. She ran outside looking for a beige car with Maryland plates… she couldn’t find one. Apparently then she thought I might me dead, and sent such text messages as “AARON PLEASE” to me in a panic. When I woke up I texted her back…then fell back asleep.

At 10am I woke up again and drove up to Kait’s. I got out of my car and she looked exactly how I thought she would. She was sitting outside waiting for me. So we talked awhile, explored the empty house next door to hers which a guy was in the process of remodeling until he dropped dead, and found out that I’m not really a guy. Then we went to Red Robin, where I’ve been DYING to go and try their 5-alarm burger. I did–and it was GREAT. I told Kait she should try it but she had to be a woman and get salad. (The next day she got sick due to her incorrect choice.)

Sadly I had to leave after that. I wish I could’ve stayed longer but I had to get home. It’s a good thing I left before I got even more tired. Because as soon as I got back I collapsed into bed and fell asleep in minutes. :)

every day that gets closer, it feels more and more of a reality…and i wonder, can i handle this shit?
i realize that people have to grow up…and i’m probably being a baby because my college is only 45 minutes away from my house. but i dont see it like that. i’ve lived in this house for 18 years. my biggest move was from bowie [5 minutes away] to crofton when i was 1, and too young to even remember our old town house. i’ve gone to the same schools, and have known the same people all of my life.
but now everyone’s leaving…well some people are staying…but that’s not the point.
people are going to move on…get better lives, get new friends. they say that your college friends are usually your friends for life, and you get closer to them more than your high school friends. i like my friends just fine now though. **shrug**

i was talking to byron on the phone one night [he called and my dad told me to answer the phone], and the things he said made me kind of upset. he was like “after you leave for college, your house isn’t going to be your home anymore…you’ll be a visitor from now on.” saying that is probably one of the biggest things you can say to me that sets in the reality of that. it set in even more when my parents told me that when i left, they might paint and rearrange my room. that made me dumbfounded. its my room, and they’re just going to take my stuff and move it around to their liking.

i started going dorm shopping with my mom the other day. it’s kind of an overwhelming and daunting experience…i didnt even know where to start. i feel like the majority of the stuff that these stores are selling are useless. and crap. we walked around both target and walmart…walmarts selection was disappointing…even though it IS walmart, and we didn’t have very high expectations to begin with. we ended up buying some towels and detergent. that’s how far i’ve gotten with my dorm shopping. freaking towels and laundry detergent. no i lie…we also bought a box of tampons. lol.

we decided to get sheets and a comforter and stuff from the catalog that towson sent us…they had a much wider variety of twin xl sheets than the places that we went to, and i actually liked some of the stuff, so that’s out of the way as well.

i dont even know what else i have to buy…a lamp, for sure. things i need for the bathroom, make sure i have shampoo and soap and toothpaste stuff like that. i feel like i’m being a minimalist…either that, or i’m just not thinking enough. oh well…i’ll probaly remember when i get on campus…which is good. lol. because the first night that we move in, a bus will come and take students that want to go, out to target to finish shopping and to get things they might’ve forgotten. i think thats cool, only towson students roaming target after closing time.

the countdown continues. anticipation and fear have played their parts…and i’m sure they will both continue to play their parts. i have a lot to do in the time that i have left. i started cleaning a month or so ago…haven’t gotten far at all. i’ll probably end up going through my closets and just throwing massive amounts of shit away. because truthfully, i have so much shit i don’t use. my family is filled with packrats. my parents are weird and go through all the trash that i throw away, and keep the stuff that they “could, maybe use”, or “could, maybe donate to goodwill”…in the meanwhile, we have piles upon piles of clothes, toys, etc etc in our basement, with years of neglectment. i’ll take things into my own hands now. i WILL have my room cleaned before i go away.

Where? The University of Pittsburgh. For a year’s study, in the college of business administration, for out-of-state, it’s $24, 352. (plus $770 in mandatory fees). At Towson it’s coming to $20,381. Why? Because I made the decision a while ago that I want to end up in Pittsburgh…it’s a blooming market for franchises. So, why not get the feel of the city early by going to college there for a couple years beforehand? I am a genius!

Of course it depends on how many scholarships I can garner for transferring to Pitt.

Also I got a request to stop posting lolcats and the such. Well TOO BAD! Check out the FAIL Blog for more epic failz.

Ghetto air conditioning:

PS. If your name is Megan Bristow you should hear this recording of how people talk in Texas.

Mr. Pregnant